I knew better...sigh!

If you've been following one of the right hand columns recently, you may have noticed that 'Little Red Envelope', keeps a running tab as to what flicks I have at home courtesy of Netflix. If so - you may have an idea as to why I'm sighing...yup, I did it...I watched "Paul Blart: Mall Cop".

TOTAL SKIP.

I know, I know - I can hear a few of you yelling right now, "Whyyyyyyyyyy??!!??" Two reasons - Adam Sandler & Kevin James. Sandler produced and James starred/directed/produced. I adore Adam Sandler's goofy humor - from his SNL days to his string of 90's movie hits (all imminently quotable!) to his humor in the 00's, which has shown a slight maturation (a huge exception being "You Don't Mess With the Zohan"; nonetheless, I laughed uproariously through this movie...another story for another day) in his humor, though he's not afraid to revisit the antics that made him a household name. Kevin James is also someone whose brand of funny I generally like...he perfected his physical comedy over the nine-year run of "The King of Queens", which did inevitably run a year or two longer than it should have (as many other hit shows have done - see "Friends", "Seinfeld", etc.).

The plot is flimsy - Kevin James plays the title character, Paul Blart, a mall cop with bigger aspirations, a NJ state trooper, that may never be realized. He's a single dad who is unhappy with much in his life and finds solace in the food his mom makes for him, be it a Sloppy Joe or a great piece of pie. Blart's one true joy - his job as a mall cop...while it may not be working as an actual, armed police officer...Blart regards the mall's workers and the shoppers who keep the mall humming as his charge, seeing it as his duty to keep them safe. This is to the chagrin of his supervisor who regularly mocks his zeal for the job. In the course of his daily patrol, Blart finds something - or someone - who puts a little spring in his step when he meets , who runs a kiosk selling hair extensions. As you may guess, his flirtations are bumbling however she's not put off by this and seems to find his attentions endearing.

This is all building up to the big test of Blart's mall cop prowess when the mall is taken over by an inside job, seasonal workers who plan to steal $30 million from this NJ mall by accessing the internal codes. As it happens, Blart was taking a quick coffee break at the local arcade - rocking out to Guitar Hero - leaving our bumbling hero safely trapped inside the now locked mall.

Will he be able to outsmart the bad guys?? And, save his lady love?
(Please say that you hear my dripping sarcasm :)

Anyway, this was a wasted hour-and-a-half for me, proving once again that mega blockbuster does not necessarily translate into a good movie. (I'm still in awe that this flick grossed more than $180 million worldwide!! Very, very happy this was just a Netflix rental for me...which with our use of this wonderful subscription service probably cost about .59)

One last point - some critics called this movie 'family friendly' and I'm gonna disagree here. Umm, not sure who these families are but there is a level of violence in this PG-rated movie that I don't think would be appropriate for a seven-year old...even a nine-year old. Don't get me wrong - it's not at the "24"/Jack Bauer level of violence (there have been many scenes in this series where I've had to turn away!!) but many of the bad guys...don't live to hold up another mall. Ah, well...who am I to question the logic of the MPAA ;)

Anyway...you get the point...there's no need to see this one: SKIP